“Michael Jackson…he’s the guy that changed his face, right?” That’s what I was greeted to when students wanted to confirm his death with me. Even as I’m typing, I can’t believe it. It took me a couple of days to actually write because of the sheer shock I experienced. Seeing red background with bold white letters telling me that OUR Michael is gone after I check my mail wasn’t really my favorite way of being told. I go into the office that morning, upset but trying to hiding it because I didn’t want to make a scene. While still in shock, I sit down and just wait until I have class. Then one of the teachers decide to bring it up, albeit sensitively, which I appreciate. However, I found out 20 minutes before I went to work; I simply wasn’t prepared to talk about something so monumental; something even I didn’t fully understand, in Japanese. I didn’t mean to lash out but I said as politely as I could remember at the moment that I simply didn’t want to talk about it.
Afterwards, the female English teacher next to me, “Oh my gosh how terrible!” at my response of not wanting to talk about it. I talk about everything else with them, so clearly there’s something wrong if I don’t want to talk about something, and yet I still had to explain. It got to the point in where I could only say about two words and I would quickly stop because I knew if I opened my mouth and spoke anymore that I would start to cry. So after two words to make them understand, they left me alone, which I appreciated. However, I couldn’t act like this all day because I have to be bubbly and cheery for my students, like how my personality dictates. So, I go to my class, trying to forget about the news. I thought I was able to forget about it until unfortunately one of my students decide to bring it up and of course I don’t want to talk about it, but I have to for the students. I won’t be able to do him justice with my mind scrambled with confusion and sadness so I look towards the Japanese teacher I’m working with. She says that she knows him so I ask her to explain a little bit about him. As she’s relaying information while I stand there…something doesn’t sound quite right with her explanation. She lets me know during class when she confirms something, ”Michael Jackson…he’s the guy that changed his face, right?” Yes, this cultural insensitivity mess doesn't happen only from the foreigners' side onto Japanese people; it most certainly goes both ways.
……I try to hold in my fury and frustration with such tragic news in my mind while trying to explain to a noticeably apathetic group of Japanese kids, whose only concern was that they knew that he had a pretty sister and asked me to remind them of her name and after the face changing question that I’m SUPPOSED to confirm is true, the only thing I can get out is, “That doesn’t matter! What matters is his music and contributions to the music that ALL OF YOU are listening to!” I’ve never done that before so they know that it’s a big deal, but I didn’t want to get into it anymore, and started the class. I felt so tired after that, understanding that I’m being forced to once again talk about something that even I can’t fully wrap my mind around. Then the teacher says, ”Oh..well…our generation knows Michael Jackson…but I don’t think the generations after us do.” False, false and false. Just…no. I didn’t want to tell her that she’s absolutely wrong and it’s only people living in a country who decide to cut themselves off from the rest of the world around them are the ones who don’t know who the hell Michael Jackson is, but I wasn’t going to get into that in class at my emotional state at that time.
Most frustratingly don’t know about him, but I won’t make it my job to tell them anything and me and Keith were invited to a private art exhibition so I took off from work after my interview test with the students and after deciding that I should apologize for my outburst in my office, I was able to go back home before once again dealing with people who can’t comprehend the gravity of this situation. Damnit. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. In any case, from the students’ apathy, to the teachers not understanding why I was upset, to today when this stupid moron decides to “be funny” and tries to terribly and offensively do “The Moonwalk,” ask me if I know what it is and how to do it, and after shutting him down HARD, I’ve decided to say, “You know what, Japan? Nevermind about it.”
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Our apartment has another JET from the states here. He moved from his previous apartment 50 minutes away to come here. RIGHT next to my apartment -.-. Damnit. I don’t hang out with him, I do not want to associate myself with him, but the simple fact that I’m a foreigner here means that anything he does (or doesn’t do) will be reflected upon me. There has been no trouble with the other people of the apartment, all of them say hello and wave or something, and some of our neighbors have invited us over to eat lunch every now and again. I don’t want that to be jeopardized because some guy wants to bring his drama to our apartment. He left because he had problems with other foreigners here, got in an argument and ran away from those people there. However, those catty people, knowing that he’s here now, would come and visit one of the other JETs in the complex. Little does she know that her so called friends are just using her because after a while it gets boring hanging out with the same JETs weekend after weekend.
What annoys me about all of them is that all this crap that they go on and on about; it’s all drama among other foreigners. It’s drama among people who they have seen and hung out with for the past 20 or so years. My thing is, why aren’t they arguing and fighting with Japanese people? Why aren’t they trying to reach out to the Japanese people in the apartment complex? Even “the help” and her tag along, even though they’ve been here for three years, I haven’t seen ONE Japanese person around them that wasn’t a teacher and they had work to do. They stress hanging out with foreigners to the point of neglecting the people of the country, despite LIVING IN THE COUNTRY.
I think a lot of that stems from being so caught up in the foreign bubble that once you get in, it’s impossible to leave. I mean, why would anyone want to deal with speaking with Japanese people, have eventual cultural clashes, deal with the language barrier but eventually trying to come to agreements and make friends, right? It’s a lot easier to ignore them, hang out with people that speak your native tongue and only reluctantly deal with Japanese people when you have to, right?
I think all foreigners come here with the idea of wanting to make a lot of Japanese friends, wanting to feel accepted and so forth. However, when you first get here, you realize that it’s a lot harder than you thought, and their reactions to you aren’t really what you expect. If you are able to understand that what this person does doesn’t apply to all Japanese people, and while annoyed, you can begin to work through it, then you’ll be okay. I think that if you complain to other foreigners, who ONLY hang out with other foreigners (even those in charge), they will tell you that it’s your fault that this is happening to you, and the way to deal with it is to understand what you’re doing wrong to make them behave like this to you. That’s a big part of the textbook method of dealing with culture shock. I don’t agree at all. That was repeatedly fed to me by people who haven’t been through their own period of self-searching and awareness because they’ve been around foreigners for 3 years. The term culture shock is also thrown around too often as well. If I don’t like something about a culture, I’m not culture shocked. I’m critically thinking. How come I can’t dislike a part of the culture I’m living in? What’s crazy about it is that those who are giving other people “advice” are just as blind to problems, so it becomes the “blind leading the blind.”
I still stand by my opinion that most of the people I have met here, know just as little as those who just came here because they blind themselves to truth of a lot of things. After a while it’s just a passing of the veil, or rose colored glasses, or whatever way people like describing “hiding the truth.” The thing is, it seems like a lot of people have this strange notion that if you dislike ONE thing about Japan, then you dislike EVERYTHING about Japan and you’re culture shocked and need to read a book. It’s something that everyone living here will be forced to come to terms with. Whether you want to deal with it when you first arrive, or 3 years later when you realize that you’ve been living in a foreign bubble and haven’t really been IN Japan, but just looking from the outside through your bubble. Blinding yourself to the truth of things is just as bad as hating all things Japan. Being aware of things you dislike, while finding things you can appreciate is the way to go. You can never reach that point if you hang out at foreign bars and ignore Japanese people on a daily basis. Keith likened it to the Matrix; you’re either plugged into it or not.
I was given some interesting advice by a Japanese woman. I’m learning piano (still quite terrible, but I can do scales…) and the woman teaching me is one of the kindest and sweetest Japanese ladies I’ve ever met. Her daughter is also adorable too. Her mother is also great and always makes lunch for me and Keith. Out of the blue, when the lesson was over and I was getting ready to leave, the piano teacher’s mother asked me, “So, Tatum…do you hang out with many foreigners?” Excluding Keith and the awesomely awesome Rachelle, not really, and I told her that. Do you know what she said? She said, “Well….this is just my opinion (!) but I don’t think that you should be hanging out with a lot of foreigners. Ever.” Well…..shit. I’m not really sure where it came from but then she went on with, “Well, this is also just my opinion (!) but when I see a big group of foreigners around, I ask myself and others, ‘what is their purpose of being here?’ So, I don’t want you to be associated with those kinds of people, are we clear?” Whoa. First off, she said “this is just my opinion” which is outrageous since most Japanese people, in order to keep the peace, don’t really say what’s actually on their minds.
When you’re a foreigner who speaks Japanese, you get told all kinds of things that they cannot say to Japanese people. I’ve also been told by her that if one Japanese person believes something, then almost all of them believe the exact same thing. Now, I’m not sure how correct that even is, but it’s clear that a lot of Japanese people don’t like big groups of foreigners. Even for me too, if I see a big group (I’m talking 6, 7 and up) of any type of people in the states then I’m going to wonder what they’re doing and why they’re together in such a big group because of the group mentality in how everyone shares the same brain. She clearly told me to make sure that I’m not involved in that. I completely agree. Not to mention, I can’t become fluent if I’m speaking English 24/7. 
I’m not saying all foreigners should be avoided; I’m saying the ones that you don’t like, and the ones that you would never hang out with in your home country are the ones that you should be avoiding. Whether or not they are able to see things that others notice, hanging out with someone just because they’re in the same company as you is counter-productive. You don’t want to be with the group that’s too busy ignoring Japanese people and acting stupidly in public. Whether or not you take part in their stupid activities, just being around them makes you guilty by association. If they want to give up and blindly hate Japanese people or blindly love Japanese people then they shouldn’t be any of your concern. I, for one, want no part of it.
Today was quite alright. The final exam is coming in a couple of weeks and it’s my job to do the listening section of the exam. Not a problem. I only had one team teaching class today, but if I have only one class that means that I’m sitting around for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t mind doing that, if I didn’t feel so guilty -.-. Some people like getting paid to do nothing, but it makes me feel like a fraud, not to mention I really don’t mind going to a class and being an assistant for 50 minutes. All I have to do is stand there and look foreign while helping out with pronunciation and telling them small differences about Japan and America.
A strange class that I have this year is the 1L class. The L classes are all girls. 1L, 2L and 3L are all girls because L stands for our equivalent of home and careers. I think the L stands for life…probably. So yeah, normally the L classes have the smartest and most energetic students in the school. However, this class is a little bit different. They’re just as smart as they’re expected to be, but…..they’re so….quiet. Now if you’ve been at a Japanese school, you’ll realize that Japanese girls are just like any other kind of girl; loud and borderline out of control when it comes to their noise making. I always look forward to L classes simply because I know it’s going to be a fun and engaging class where translation from the teacher is rarely even necessary because some students can translate for everyone else. This year’s 1L class clearly understand everything I’m saying, but….they’re unbelievably hesitant to say anything. Huh. Why the hell….
I think I figured it out though, seeing as how they’re just as…quiet…with every other teacher. The female JTE told me that she thinks that they’re all under a lot of pressure and they think that they have to be serious with every class, including English. That’s…actually quite great that they’re taking it seriously. However, they’re taking it to the point in where they don’t really practice speaking English because they’re afraid of making a mistake. Okay…that’s not too great but I see where they’re coming from. They still need to speak English…for ya know…. communication. So, we have to do something to get them just as energetic as any other class. That’s usually why if I don’t have any team teaching classes, I’ll go to the 1L class and assist in hope that they’ll be more inclined to use English if they see me at times where I don’t have to be there. So far it seems to be working and it’s gotten to the point where they’ll actually yell my name out and tell everyone that I’m coming, or I’ll get “Oooooooo….” If they see me walk in lol. Ah….it’s an adventure everyday.
Today starts my students’ Interview Test preparation. I’m completely in charge of it in how I make the questions, I create the grading system, I hold the interview test, then I grade the worksheets I make for them. It’s a nice little break from thinking of something to do for team teaching. Even after that, there’s another break since this test is followed by the final exam, so summer break is coming up. Well, next month anyway, but I see school in terms of two weeks so summer break is right around the corner. Why two weeks you ask? Well, since I have so many classes, I do one lesson plan for two weeks. So, I do a class once every two weeks in a rotation. Any given week, I’ll visit about 11 classes, so I’d have about 22 classes every two weeks. It’s quite the good set up.
Working with the teachers for the Interview Test tends to be a smooth venture. They know that they have to do a lot of explanation in Japanese alongside my English, so it’s almost always an easy class. The new guy, however, decides that he doesn’t want to do the Interview Test the same way I’ve been doing it since last year, with other teachers. Well, I mean, even in general, the guy doesn’t do anything; he just walks to the back, sits down (or lays back), and barely even gives Japanese translation. When he first got here, he said “In the class, I’m going to be student, too.” No. I’m sure some people are used to that, but it was a completely new experience to me. A teacher who doesn’t know what team teaching is about? Clearly he knows about it and has does it before because he’s an English teacher in Japan. I’ve been told from other teachers that it’s quite common for Academic School teachers to be lazy and not want to do much work and when they’re transferred to a new school where they HAVE to do work (mine, for instance). They don’t really like it and would rather sit in the back until class is over. Okay.
That’s quite stupid. You would think those that come from an academic school would be one of the best teachers, but if the kids are smart, you don’t have to do much work to begin with. In any case, I got that kind of guy this year. He did only a little bit of translation for the class… I hope he used enough for the kids because if they don’t do well, it’s his fault. The Interview Test works great with EVERY OTHER TEACHER because they understand the kids and how they need Japanese, unlike his other school, I’m sure. It’s just mind-boggling how he doesn't want to do work…which honestly for the classes, it is only translation because I’m the teacher and the teachers become the assistants. At first I didn't like that, but I know that the other teachers have my back so if it’s hard to explain something, they can take care of it, and I’m comfortable enough with the kids to do most of the talking, since most of it is about western culture anyway.
So, it all came to a head yesterday where he didn't do translation again, so I was like screw it, I taught in all Japanese. I know it’s a cop out, but if the kids don’t know what I’m saying, despite trying to explain in a bunch of different ways, and the degree-carrying JTE doesn’t want to do his job, I have to do his job for him. It worked out alright; I would honestly just rather use English, since that’s what I’m getting paid for.
Later in the day, he wanted to talk to me about the lesson. He said that he wants me to just go right into doing the activity and not explain anything because he will explain in Japanese. That’s great…that’ll make my life easier… why the hell didn’t he do that when I asked him before? Then I explain that I would like less of just “me” time and more “us” time. I meant I want him to stop going to the back of the classroom and just watching the class like some spectator. He’s a teacher. I explained that students could tell if the JTE and ALT are meshing well together. If they see that they are, I think they’ll be more inclined to listen, ESPECIALLY when the JTE can get off his ass and be kind enough to repeatedly ask questions to constantly check for understanding. It keeps them on their toes. If they get bombarded with English and no breaks in between, they’ll give up because there’s no way they can understand.
In any case, he also explains that he doesn't want to team teach; he wants me to just follow along with his plans when we go into the classroom. Fine by me. It takes a bit of load off of my shoulders that way, but it’s clear that was what he wanted from the beginning and he was being a jerk by passive aggressively sitting in the back and not giving translation. Then he had the nerve to apologize for not being able to do much (?) in the class. Um….how can you apologize to me for how you sat down and did nothing? Why didn’t you do anything? Well, whatever, it’s not a big deal anymore. At least he decided to finally be an adult about it so could we were able to clear some things up.
So we came to a pacifying agreement; he’ll teach and I’ll be the assistant. Hey! That doesn't sound too bad….lol
So, I went to another hip hop club this past Saturday. It’s actually a very good experience and you can see that hip-hop is a legitimate subculture in Japan. Keith and I once again received invitations to the club from our DJ friend (who is going to be performing), and we went with one of our Japanese friends who work at a hip hop store. It’s quite exclusive; no more than like 60 people were there, even at the height of the evening. You have to be with Japanese people to feel like you fit in. Not only so it’s not awkward when it’s just your foreign ass walking into an all-Japanese party; also because you’re going to want someone to talk to and to introduce you to other Japanese people and buy you drinks!
The club scene is quite interesting. It's not similar to the states at all; it's more like a concert for DJs to show their skills and for people to dance individually while listening closely to the DJ. The party itself starts at like 10pm, but it’s not really jumping until around midnight. So we learned our lesson from the last one, and meet up with our friend in the city near McDonalds at around midnight, then we head towards the club. It was at a different place from the last one, it’s closer to the main part of the city. So we walk in, and it’s already packed. To the left is the bar and stools and to the right, it splits. To the right is a comfortable looking, decently sized lounge area where you can sit and drink before you dance. The other side is the actual dance floor. So we get some drinks and go to the lounge area. My friend Rie (pink earrings) brought one of her friends, Shouko and I wanted to get to know her better so we chat for a bit. She met Rie because they lived in the same area. 
I knew there was going to be trouble when Rie told us that she thought the guy sitting next to her was hot. All of a sudden, me and Shouko share an evil look and at the moment, Japan and New York didn’t even matter; it became two girls that only wanted to see their friend get a boyfriend! So we start talking about different ways to get him to look over here, or even to get him to talk to us. So our idea was for me to ask the guy if he can take a picture of all four of us and chat him up afterwards lol. Keith was like “Haha…no. That doesn’t work with guys,” but what does he know? -.- It was all just harmless fun even though Rie’s friend REALLY did get up and was about to talk to him lol, I was like “naaahh...let’s give Rie a break lol….for now!”
After a couple more minutes of chatting, we decide to go dance. So I have to tell you; dancing hip-hop in Japan is not hip-hop dancing in the states…they all tend to line up at certain spots in the little dance room and sway to the beat. We’ve done this before so it wasn’t that ridiculous looking lol. So Keith and I get dragged to the front of the line-dance thing, and that wouldn’t be a big deal if Keith wasn’t half a foot taller than almost everyone else in there -.-…so clearly we’re sticking out more than we usually do. But even that wore off and once the party really got underway, it didn’t matter where anyone was. Our friend did his DJ thing, he's always quite good! He tends to do old school, early 90s hip-hop and rap. We figure that the music he DJs is the music that made him first get into hip-hop. After him, the guest DJ, DJ Soulja (lol), took it away at like 1am. I was pleasantly surprised! Most of his DJ-ing was old school reggae! It was nice to have my culture represented well, and not just for some fashion crap. It was great!
Unfortunately, the room was getting quite hot because it was a lot smaller than the other one. Also, after repeatedly getting surprised at how much good music our DJ friend knows, then getting even more surprised from the guest DJ’s music selection, some of the dancing from the guys ended up dying down because after a while he only played “girl music,” according to Keith. Then, we got quite tired. Not to mention after about like 2am, it wasn’t really music as much as it was just a lot of bass because we were so close to the speakers lol. So we left like 3 hours later, exhausted, thirsty, slightly deaf but happy. We had to walk home from the club since we don’t want to waste 20 bucks on a cab that we know can take a fast, cheaper way but WILL take the longest way, while pretending to not know where the teacher’s housing is. Whatever. It was about a 45 minute walk back, but it was alright since we had each other to talk to and we’ve done it plenty of times before. I was more concerned with the next one... :)