6:05 PM

Haters Abound


One of my cute students got in trouble a couple of weeks ago. She was sent in to my office since I’m in the guidance counselor office, I see and hear a lot of things. Other teachers don't know because they aren’t in the office, so that automatically means that it’s none of their business. Yeah, I don’t know either. So, the first grader (freshman) sits down at the table with her head down. I’m not really sure what’s going on yet so I just go about my business as usual. She’s kept there all day, having meetings with different teachers and having all of those teachers scold her, sometimes yell. So, I’m like “Oh no, she did something terrible. I hope she wasn't caught hanging around with older guys or caught smoking or something,” but I still didn’t know what happened.
I catch a telephone conversation about a boy freshman from our school who was called to a different office and scolded there. So a little bit is made clear, she was caught doing something with a boy. Oh no. I still don’t have the full picture though, but despite that, after a bunch of hours of that, her mother gets called in and now the same teachers have to speak with her mother and scold the kid again. By this time, she’s crying, I mean she’s a 14 year-old girl; it must be embarrassing to have your mother come in when you’ve been bad.


By this time I’m still not sure what happened but someone finally tells me the whole story. She was caught…hugging a boy, at 11pm, on a bridge that leads to the city. The 50 year-old head of the Agricultural department was out jogging, and he said that he saw them hugging. So……the next day he snitches on the kids. Like, really? So, I say that’s ridiculous. Yes, they should be at home at the time of night but they weren’t even focusing on the fact that it was late! The person who was talking to me told me, “That kind of behavior is inappropriate in Japan.” ……hugging people is inappropriate? Then he goes, “Well, if it was during the day time it wouldn’t be a big deal, but to be seen at night, with your school uniform on is very embarrassing for the school.” Not to mention, it wasn’t even a real hug! They were standing shoulder to shoulder, slightly turned into one another, holding forearms. So…she’s getting all this flack….for that?

But I mean, which is it? Is it the hugging or the fact that it was late? I can understand the time problem, but his main argument of why it was wrong was because of the hug. Whatever. Great job making her resent you guys. I think the main thing is that it’s not even about the students; it’s about how bad the school would look to other people outside. I mean, if it’s at 11pm, I really don’t think people care, not to mention, it’s quite dark out here at night so it would be kind of hard to guess where the student comes from based on the uniform. So this old dude sees them and snitches. Like…does he feel better about himself? Well I mean I shouldn’t even get on him because if it was anybody else, they would do the exact same thing and snitch. It’s a Japanese culture thing. I'll get back to you on how to say "Snitches get stitches" in Japanese lol.

After the parents came in, the teachers that were scolding her seemed even more agitated. Why, you ask? Well, the damn parents KNEW that the kids were out at night! They were well aware of that fact and gave them permission to go out and see each other! So…what the hell is the problem? That should be proof that it totally isn’t about these kids, but about how the school looks from the outside. The teachers even said, “The fact that the parents knew that the kids were out makes this even more problematic….” Why? I don’t know. It’s unjustifiable because of how it was carried out. So, that girl was brought here twice, both days she had long meetings, had her mom come in and started sobbing. I only saw the boy getting scolded ONCE, for 10 minutes, WITHOUT a parent. I brought that up to the same teacher who told me what happened, and he claimed that the boy is in a different room and he’s getting scolded there so they are both receiving the same treatment. Yeah, okay. Either way, they’re both just going to learn how to not get caught. All in all, it was a stupid situation and it seemed like they just created more problems with how they went about “teaching the kids a lesson.” Whatever.

9 comments:

Lauren said...

Well you gotta remember that it is Japan. It seems really strict but at least they are looking out for the kids. As Americans we should be the last ones annoyed when so many of our own children are out on the streets ahead of their time, getting knocked up left and right. I wish those type of people were in my neighborhood. Twenty girls in my graduating class were pregnant their Junior year. This is a different culture/different world and whatever they are doing it seems to be working right? The kids are a whole lot behaved than the ones I used to teach in the states.

Anonymous said...

@Lauren have you been to Japan? the teachers weren't mad because she was outside at 11 on a weekday, they were mad because she showed affection to someone by hugging and that's frowned upon in this country.they didn't even scold the boy,only the girl got yelled at. why are you talking like she doesn't live in Japan? yes its a cultural difference but does that make it right to scold a HS kid for frivolous reasons?yes kids need structure but the teachers showed the girl that natural feelings are wrong, which is damaging to growing minds. the girls parents knew about them being together at the time, it was simply none of the schools business. Also the behavior here may be good but i would easily choose a free thinking child from the west over a well behaved kid that cant think for themself from the east. We need to start viewing Japan with a critical eye rather then just apologizing for them all the time.

Tatum said...

Hi Lauren, I understand what you're saying, but are you seriously telling me that it's okay for this girl to get yelled at for two days because she HUGGED a boy? Honestly, when I heard the full story, I was glad that she hugged a boy her age because a huge percentage of my girls would prefer someone way older. These kids tell me things that no Japanese person will ever know. Why? I'm not Japanese and they don't lose anything by telling me things that bother them or things that they would NEVER tell a Japanese person. They trust me enough to know that they can tell me anything and I won't go running to a teacher to tell on them to make myself look better to the other teachers. For example, at my school, girls and boys are prohibited from getting ear piercings. Yes, girls too. I know about 6 kids that have ear piercings because they told me and they trust me not to say anything. I've also seen some with earrings outside of school and I would question them about it. So, judging by your post, you're telling me that it's okay for teachers to come down hard on boys and girls for having piercings because it's a "different culture?" It's okay to think critically about Japan instead of foregoing all common sense just to excuse something.

Also, you seem to think that teachers care about the students here. While there are some, I can't tell you how many teachers, on a regular basis, tell me that they'd rather be doing something else. Some things go a lot deeper than people think.

Not to mention, you can't possibly compare your classmates already being pregnant to this girl hugging a boy outside. It would be a completely different story if they were caught having sex or something, but they were outside...hugging. So, in your high school days, you would have thought that it's okay if a teacher saw you hugging a boy in a public spot and you were called into an office the next day to get yelled at for public displays of affection? Of course that would be a "no" because it's none of that teacher's business, right? Also, just because that happened at your high school, doesn't mean that happened at my school in New York, or any other high school in the world. Don't use this high horse mentality by accepting everything at face value, whether or not you live here.

Being a teacher, you know how kids get if they're told that they're not supposed to do something. Do you really think she decided that she would never ever hug a boy until she's older? The only lesson that girl was taught is that as long as she isn't caught, she could do whatever she wants. She's no different from any other girl the world.

Perhaps I should have told you before, but I have a degree in Japanese language and culture, and I know the language enough to teach classes by myself in Japanese. It just seems a little condescending that you're telling me "Japan is a different culture." Don't feel as though you have to sell America down the river and put us down while blindly apologizing for Japan. Just like any place in the world, Japan has its great moments and its bad moments.

Lauren said...

Wait...hold up now. I am not apologizing for Japan.

Being raised among Anthropologists, I dont believe in viewing Japan (or any country I am living in at the time) with a criticizing eye or whatever you guys are saying. I have lived among other countries and in other cultures that are more "bizarre" by our western standards than living in Japan. So dont tell me that it is about having a "common sense" approach to these matters rather than so called overly sympathazing with the Japanese. If I had a dime for every English teacher who came to Japan and made comments about "outlandish" Japanese ways then I would never have to work again. Wtf honestly? Did you guys come here to expect to see American people dressed in Kimonos and eating sushi? Do you honestly thing that western (im guessing American) kids are more free thinking than Japanese kids? American kids, one of the most obese bastards in the world get all their culture from tv and media just like any other kid so dont think that they are free thinking... if anything, most of them are more vocal about expressing their wants that are just as similar as the kid next to them. I think that it is condescending of you to think that just because I don't agree with your criticism of a different culture that I am "foregoing all common sense just to excuse something.." Girl please, I have been here for over five years. There are times where I too cannot understand "Japan" but hell, we cant even understand our own neighborhoods back home that are full of just as many problems and complexities.

Anonymous said...

i think your misinterpreting the comments lauren. you were the one comparing america to japan. when some1 reads the comment you see some1 who is viewing japan with rose color glasses. the 1st commenter said we should view japan a critical eye, the same eye you used to view your neighborhood and country... it seems like whenever someone says something bad about the japanese the 1st response you get is "well its a different country" and i find that to be an excuse that foreigners use to make themself feel better about anything dumb that happens here. do u not see the black neo nazi trucks with the speakers saying foreigners get out?do u not talk to some people in Japanese and have them say " i dont speak english?" or get questions like "can gaikoku eat japanese food?" or "can you use chopsticks" is that just because its a different place too? or is someone being a bit ignorant?. no1 is expecting a western world when they come here, we all come to explore and learn about the east but we cant learn if we refuse to see the bad as well as the good of japan. im not sure why you assumed everyone expects to see westerns things and are english teachers, thats a very general statement. not to sound like a jerk or anything but does being raised among anthropologist make you an anthropologist? just as being raised among doctors make a person doctor etc etc etc. you got responses that had to do with your negative comparison of your "tough" neighborhood in America vs the "great" country know as Japan, you compared them not everyone else.出る釘は打たれる

Tatum said...

Viewing something with a “critical eye” is completely different from viewing something with a “criticizing eye.” One is straight up insulting. The other is thinking deeply beyond what’s simply on the surface. Everyone has been critical while YOU were the one who decided to criticize.

I see now! Even though you could be a rich person if you had a dime for people noticing “outlandish” things about Japan while YOU have decided not to view Japan with a critical eye, which you are CLEARLY doing with OTHER cultures (obese bastards, wow), you think that makes you “above” everyone else? “Girl, please.” This is EXACTLY what me and the other anonymous posters were talking about. You have no qualms about calling other cultures “bizarre” and insulting American people, but everyone is supposed to “leave Japan alone?” Right. I love how you prove my point while at the same time destroying your own. The same argument that YOU started, by the way. So… anthropologists just view a culture from the outside, without noting subtle or clear differences to the place where they come from? I’m pretty sure that’s your problem and not mine. I’m sorry but Japan is my main focus of study and I’d be a fool to not point out things that I notice are strange or great. Clearly you haven’t read my other posts because out of all of the positive and negative ones, you focus on this one? I would imagine a worldly-wise anthropologist such as yourself would have worse things to say about my other posts that focus on negatives rather than positives. This is exactly why it’s so hard to have a rational/critical conversation about Japan; certain people, for whatever reason, will force themselves to only see the good and attack those who don’t.

So……I give you all of that and how I have great relationships with my Japanese students and how I know things that Japanese teachers don’t; and you come up with a question of whether or not I think Americans wear kimono?! Seriously? That’s mind bogglingly foolish. I don’t know where that came from but that’s clearly part of your defense mechanism, stemming from being an apologist. That’s great that you’ve traveled other places, but I’m not talking about other places. I know people that have lived in Asia for 15 years, and people who have never lived here, while claiming to be experts, would rather stick their heads in the sand about certain things than admit them, so I’m afraid your "5+ years" here isn’t really the greatest way to prove your argument or make me feel as though you know more than I do.

I also think it’s strange that clearly you don’t even understand where you come from. I’m well aware of the workings of my neighborhood to the point in how I CAN see a clear/rational difference between both cultures, WITHOUT apologizing or criticizing. If you don’t like people smearing the name of YOUR Japan then don’t talk to them. If you don’t like people with blogs talking about things that YOU don’t do or would never do, because of your “Anthropologists’” background, then don’t read them. Clearly you knew that you were going to read something negative and if that interfered with what YOU think Japan is, maybe you should’ve hit the back button.

American kids are obese bastards, you say? So, is this how anthropologist-raised-teachers talk? I think you mean apologist. If you live here, like you claim, you need to see the bad with the good and if you refuse to see that, then you’re just a product of your neighborhood that you so shamelessly insulted earlier. YOU were the one who went on the rant and started insulting America while CLEARLY holding Japan up on a pedestal, a.k.a. apologizing. It's exactly what the anonymous poster before me said, YOU brought up your neighborhood and country, not me. I certainly hope you’re not American (or any other nationality = not Japanese) because by the way you’re talking it sounds like you’ve lost your identity.

Lauren said...

After skimming through your 1000 paragraphs and only bothering to read a few sentences that are quite repetitive I have come to the easy conclusion that you have no idea what you are talking about and where I am coming from. keep trying... peace...

Tatum said...

LMAO. And your ignorant thoughts sound like you arrived here yesterday! See you later! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi there!!

I realize this comment is coming 4 years after your post and I'm not sure if you will even check this anymore!! If you do, would you mind telling me if you would recommend Miyazaki for placement? I am searching long and hard for areas to be placed and I love the look of Miyazaki.

I hope your return to NY was what you hoped and you are on a new path in life :)

Rebekah
beabrowne@hotmail.com

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