Uselessness

I don’t like some of the people in charge here. Some of these people know just as little as people who just came. I’m not taking about Japanese people; I’m talking about foreigners who have been living here for like 3 years on the JET Program and don’t know a damned thing. It’s so frustrating because they’ll spout some nonsense with such a sure tone that frustrates me to no end. They are exactly the same here as they are in the states, the only difference is a lot of them just happened to have positions of power and they abuse it to the fullest. I’ve been here for about 9 or so months, so most of these happened about 7 or 8 months ago.

When I first got here, I assumed that some people would have all of the information possible, or would at least be able to help me through culture shock. However, that wasn’t the case as I quickly found out. A lot of them put on a smile and tell you (and your parents if you happen to be talking to them on Skype) that they have “everything under control.” Right.

Keith wanted to get a cultural visa so he can stay with me. EVERYONE told us it was impossible. When I tell you EVERYONE I mean even the cute Japanese puppies and kittens would point and laugh. When I asked the person in charge, the so-called “help” said, “Well…most cultural visas tend to be for celebrities, since they would come here to do a particular skill and leave so it might be hard for you to get one.” Thank you, unhelpful moron. Even the statement didn’t make sense when I first heard it. Why the hell would a celebrity actually do any kind of work for something like that? Wouldn’t it be…I don’t know…their agents? But whatever, you were the person in charge so I’m going to nod, thank you for your advice, and just go along with what I have to do for getting my bf a cultural visa. Mind you, while this is going on, I would have random questions that someone who just got here would ask. Why the hell doesn’t the person in charge answer their phone? Especially when you were bragging about your lovely iphone … why can’t it receive calls? Could it be… despite the fact you live quite close to me, you’re purposefully ignoring the calls of the people that you’re in charge of? What if there is an emergency and you decide to not answer your phone? You can’t shirk your responsibilities and expect people to continually ask you questions. Soon they’re going to stop because they’re not expecting you to pick up, and you wouldn’t. It’d be hard to fathom my surprise when I call and you actually allow me to speak with you. Even funnier, when I call after not getting a phone call back, and actually (eventually, whether it’s the next day or 3 days from then) reach them I always get, “Sorry I missed your call.” Right.

In any case, it was a very busy 3 months, dealing with culture shock, running around Miyazaki for someone who would be willing to give my bf a cultural visa for calligraphy, while teaching English to students that I was slowly beginning to know, and deal with annoying office politics. I never had to deal with this before, so I would be…. a little forceful. Now, I don’t mean yell and scream, but I would tell people how I felt, before I realized that it was a pointless venture. I would tell the “help” about things that I thought I could tell “the help” in confidence and that “the help” would be sympathetic and give me some good points of wisdom, after living here for 3 years. I explain my problem, in how these teachers seem to hate teaching English because of how they act and don’t translate and help the poor kids out, and I was told by them to “be honest” with my feelings. So I told them about how ALTs freak the hell out when kids look at us with blank faces, especially the ALTs who don’t know Japanese, and especially a school in which their main focus is not really academics, sometimes speaking some Japanese helps everyone out. I told “the help” that I went on a “three minute spiel,” but I obviously didn’t really, I was exaggerating because I exaggerate. I spoke casually to “the help” simply because they are native speakers of English and should be able to spot hyperboles in speech. In return, I got, “I can’t believe you did that. You can’t go on three minute spiels. That’s not the way to go about it,” so I’m sitting there in shock as to how I got zero help from the person in charge, seeing as how I essentially just got there and I had my first run-in with Japanese passive aggression. Now the person in charge is going to be just as unhelpful? Okay…maybe “the help” was just having a bad day? In any case, the person in charge knows what they’re talking about, and it’s just me being wrong about it….right?

There are other people at fault. Another one can be described as know-it-all without knowing anything, unnecessarily confrontational, speaks his opinions like they are facts, the know-it-all is just as annoying and full of hot air. When I first got here, I explained that Keith wasn’t able to find U.S. games that can play on the XBOX 360. When I first got here, the “know it all” along with “the help” obnoxiously assume that I don’t know how to search for games on Amazon. Why the hell would I not know how to search? Granted it’s in Japanese, but they knew by then that I know Japanese and I should be able to navigate the damn Japanese Amazon. I told them that I couldn’t find any, the tag along challenges me for some stupid reason, I tell him to look it up, and lo and behold, they can’t find any games. That’s what I’ve been saying, pricks. However, the fault doesn’t rest with the know-it-all; it’s the website that’s messing up, isn’t it? Shut up. Once again, just as useless as I thought they were. I kept on trying though, because they HAVE to be knowledgeable about something, right???

So, I was still getting wrong information about the cultural visa from everybody, since no one knew anything, so Keith and I decided to just stop asking people, and just continue what we were doing from the start. I had to go their apartment to get something during all this. Then they decide to ask me how the cultural visa thing is going. I didn’t really have the patience to explain everything so I said some small things and touching upon how my supposed supervisor called the immigration place and they said that Keith can stay in the country while they’re figuring out his visa status. Now, Keith did all of the online research and did a lot of reading at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website, and it said that he cannot do that because he is an American citizen and he’s going for a cultural visa, not a work visa. I don’t doubt that’s what the lady at immigration said because even those people don’t know anything about their own policies. It’s true. So I tell them this, and explain that we will not do that because of how strict Japanese immigration is, there have been articles and testimony of people overstaying one day with their visas and being thrown in jail. It’s happened; I’m not going to take my chances. Especially reading around, you find out quickly that Japanese immigration and customs is no joke and are notoriously racist. Keith might get a nice guy, he might not. Why take that chance because someone from the immigration office said it? They don’t know anything, like I said, and the simple fact that if he does listen, what if he overstays his visa but they say no? How will he explain to the racist immigration guy that he was told from a Japanese person at an immigration office about how he can overstay his visa because he was applying for a cultural one? The guy will laugh, throw him in jail, and I’ll never hear from him again. You would think that people living here would know that, or at least admit that they don’t know anything so they’re not at liberty to give any advice. But, from the know-it-all, who isn’t even in a position of power, thinks that since he dates the one in power that he can say what he wants, decides to drop some knowledge. He tells me, “I think that’s a rumor or myth or something. I don’t think that’s ever actually happened to anybody and whatever you read online was trying to scare you. I’m sure he can overstay his visa if the people at immigration said it.” These are from the same morons that said only celebrities can get cultural visas. Wow. Shut up. Why the hell would I take that chance? Let’s say I listen to them and tell Keith that he can overstay his visa. It’s been like two weeks past his visa, he was rejected so he has to go back. There’s a chance that like 36 hours later, I probably wouldn’t have gotten a call from him even though he was supposed to have reached New York. So, what would be the point of me, going to the know-it-all and cursing him the hell out? Either way, we were responsible for having the most information because it’s our responsibility, but if I listened to the idiots, Keith might have been screwed. Thanks for trying to get us in trouble with immigration, morons. Who am I going to believe? Hmm..on one side we have articles, news stories, the Japanese government site and etc. On the other side… we have…some know-it-all’s nonsense opinion that he and “the help” continue to see as fact. Whatever. Shut up. That was my fault for even answering their question in the first place. I wish I was done.

So then, we decide to drop the calligraphy thing since Keith didn’t really want to do it, so he tells me to see about watercolor or some kind of art since he’s been doing digital (vector) art for years, and has plenty of finished works to back it up. We strike gold. Sparing the details, and dealing with more incompetence from Japanese immigration, we find out that we have to go two hours away by train from here to hand in the papers at the immigration office in another prefecture. Well, that’s where we have to go. I didn’t want to tell “the help” and subsequently the know-it-all, but I’m bound by obligation to tell them where I am going because they’re in charge. So I call them, surprisingly they pick up. I explain that I’m going to Kagoshima to apply for the cultural visa. I had a giant portfolio of papers, Keith’s art to give them because we were not joking about it. It was like 100 dollars to go there, and two hours on a train seems a bit long. Not to mention, I wanted my boyfriend to stay with me, so I’m taking this seriously. So I decided to be vague and tell them I’m going to Kagoshima soon, took paid vacation so I’m heading over there now. They ask me if I have everything in order, and I’m like yeah, “I have some papers together so I’m ready to go,” if you heard my tone, it would be clear that I’m being modest and that there’s no point in giving a run down of all the papers I have together. As usual though, they didn’t seem to comprehend and decided to scold me with, “You can’t just have ‘papers together’ you have to make sure you have all of your materials because it’s important.” Are you stupid? Why the hell would we run all around Miyazaki, and the surrounding areas, only to go half-assed at the end? Not to mention you have been completely USELESS in this whole thing, you have the nerve to scold me about something Keith has been doing most of the research on? Shut up. Outside, however, I say, “Oh, of course I have all the papers together. I’m just in a rush because the bus is here, I have to go.” Which was true since you can’t use cell phones on the bus here. Then, continuing with the nerve, they say, ”Oh okay. Just remember to smile, be friendly. Use the most polite Japanese you possibly can because they’re the ones doing you a favor.” Once again, who the hell are you? You’ve known me for 2 months at this point. You know nothing and you continue to prove that the more I talk to you. Shut up. Outside though, I go, “Thanks! See you later!” There’s no point in getting annoyed with them since they think they’re doing such a BIG FAVOR for me. Wrong. If only I was finished.

Around these times, there were sparse workshops, and other things that JETs have to go to or participate in. Now, I can safely assume that if I’m getting ignored, and I live quite close, then JETs in farther places are getting even less help. It’s quite obvious; I just hope that people didn’t have emergencies. I ended up noticing it randomly. They had to do a powerpoint presentation and they asked all of the JETs to fill out a 2 page survey and give it to them. There are plenty of JETs here… a good amount. I did what pretty much everyone else did and that was read her e-mail, smile slightly at the cute 28-year-old’s words in the e-mail, then completely forget about it 3 minutes later. I know this because out of all of JETs here, like about 50 or something, she managed to get a whopping 10 surveys. Then after the deadline had passed, everyone got an e-mail of their writing sad things and trying to make people feel slightly guilty for it, but it’s not going to work if you haven’t been helping anyone out since October. During the powerpoint presentation, they made it a point to repeatedly point out that they only received 10 surveys…in pretty much every other slide. It’s not going to work. Oh well.

Another instance, long after I got the cultural visa and they were still ignoring everybody, they sent another e-mail to everyone asking for pictures of random things about Japan, for the new JETs that are coming. Imagine my surprise when a couple weeks later, they tell everyone in an e-mail that she only received three pictures. Well…the above applies. You can’t continue to ignore adults, and expect them to do favors for you just because you ask it in a cutesy, Japanesy way. It works with the Japanophiles of course, but not every other JET.


Continuing back to the main idea, by this point, he’s already gone back to America to wait for the visa status change. So, all we could have done was just wait. After passive aggressively asking immigration what’s taking them so long on a Wednesday, the Saturday of that week, I receive the forms that accepted Keith to get a cultural visa for watercolor painting. Yes!!!! So I’m really happy of course, and let him know. So all that’s left was for him to come back here and stick around until I leave. We managed to do the “impossible” and the amount of praise for it was mind-boggling. We knew that we were going to get it... because that’s what we were aiming for. Also, being from New York…it was cakewalk. If we left it in anyone else’s hands, he would have been back in the states by now. The strange comments that we received once people found out about it made me realize that the resident big mouth that lives near me decided to tell everyone she knew (mainly foreigners of course), that Keith got a cultural visa. Keith was asked in passing by the resident big mouth, “Oh…that’s cool that you got a cultural visa! Did they think you were a celebrity or something?” I know we’re cool as hell to be mistaken for celebrities lol…but…that’s just absurd. Alright, normally that wouldn’t be a big problem. However, the resident big mouth knows NOTHING… absolutely NOTHING. The gossiper walks around as if she's not getting her hand held everywhere, tries too hard to helpful, despite her glaring uselessness, can’t even really go many places except coffee shops despite being here for 9 months and etc. So I KNOW that it’s not like she just happened to know that about cultural visas; obviously she told people who originally thought that and they decided to “educate” her on how we got a cultural visa. Wow. I’m not going to point the finger…but I think by now you know who said it. In any case, that’s what she said to him. Keith disagreed with her statement, called her a moron in his head and left her alone.

So by this point it’s been like a month or two since he received his cultural visa, and around this time there was optional individual meetings with “the help.” I chose to go, simply because I could get out of work for a day. I call them and set up a meeting. By this point I’m tired of them and how they act so I figured that I’d just treat them like I treat most people here: tell them only the good things that they want to hear. No honesty, just surface happiness. It goes a long way here. So I get there, and we start talking and I tell them that I began to love it here so I’m going to stay for another year. They smile and congratulate me (?) and tell me that most people have decided to stay another year. Great. Then suddenly our conversation completely changes. Do you know what they asked me? They goes, “I have a question to ask you. Congratulations on getting a cultural visa (I had to tell them since they’re in charge), I’m so happy for you and that you were able to get it. Well… I’m leaving the JET Program this year, but I want to stay in Japan with my boyfriend and do something in a different prefecture. So…I need you to tell me everything you did to get a cultural visa.” Oh ho ho! Come again? Pardon? Now when I have a cultural visa, and you’ve been completely useless, and how you’ve been spreading crap about how the cultural visa is only for celebrities, and clearly we got it because they thought Keith was a celebrity, not someone who wanted something and put work into it, and yet feeling as though you had incredible knowledge in your insipid, obvious advice….you want ME to help YOU? Funny. Sure, I’ll help you as much as you’ve helped me.

Just the sheer audacity. I could not believe it. Why the hell were you giving us “advice” if you didn’t know a damn thing to begin with? Why? You’ve been here for 3 years…why the hell didn’t you do this research earlier? Why are you and you the know-it-all so unhelpful, and yet talk so big? How was it that we were able to do research, run around Miyazaki to get all the papers together, deal with Japanese racism, deal with petty office politics, while being at work for eight hours, and only being here for 3 months (at the time), while you’ve BEEN HERE for 3 years and had no intelligent input? Damnit. And then all of a sudden, now that you see it can be done, YOU want one, and you need MY help. Wow.

Then they have the nerve to completely down play the amount of work that we had to do and all you can do is point out the fact that you have “a friend here…her boyfriend knows zero Japanese….so I think I have a shot,” even after living here for all this time you still think knowing Japanese matters? Not really. Keith doesn’t know much of it, but he has a story everyday about people coming up to him and asking questions about things that he can understand because he’s been here for 8 months, and he didn’t need to speak Japanese to do it. Now you want to go somewhere else and you think you can just do some sketches and they’ll accept you for a visa because you can turn on the cute, Japanese-American “charm?” You’re no different from literally every other foreigner who wants to live in Tokyo and do something “cultural.” News Flash: everyone and their families want to live in here and those people actually have skills to live and stay there. Some places (like Tokyo) are way more racist than Miyazaki, and they will tell you to your face that they’re not impressed with you and your foreign boyfriend, because every other girl, and anime otaku who want to do art in Tokyo, before you was in the same boat. It’s not unique.



On a different occasion, “the help” then decides to get on my case about how I shouldn’t disturb the peace, and tell people what I’m feeling (even though they asked about it), or not scold a kid because he has two of his fingers in a public chocolate fountain (I didn’t do it, but I tested to them to see what they’d say), but then she can choose to take a break from driving, wait for the bus, get upset that it hasn’t come because she’s been waiting for like 10-15 minutes, then angrily call up the bus station and rant to whomever picked up the phone that the bus hasn’t come and it made her late for work. Dabble in hypocrisy much? At least my complaint was given to people involved in the situation. I suppose I’m used to it by now though.

Also, you tell me that there are no Post Office ATMs in our area and I’d have to go to the city for them. How the hell was I able to find 3 in that same area that you claimed didn’t have them? Literally EVERYTHING you have said to me was wrong. Then I realized that a good amount of the people that have been here the longest, are the ones that seem to know less. Wow.

It’s okay to be useless. It’s okay to tell everyone else that you have no interest in doing your job. But, don't pretentiously pretend that you’ve been helping everyone out from day one and continue to use that stupid self-assured, arrogant tone while talking big, but giving people NO information. You’re entitled to your opinions, not your own facts. Stop it.

People have to understand that I don't like mincing words and I never realized how brutally honest we are until we left New York. I don't like surface smiles and emotions. The strange thing about this is that Japanese people here love us. I'm not sure if it's the same in other prefectures, but here, other foreigners would like to see me as a bad guy because I didn't come here to become Japanese or babysit adults. I came here to teach English, learn more Japanese and speak with Japanese people, while retaining my roots so people can meet someone different. It's as simple as that.